


It Wasn't Fine

by ChirpB



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, College be like that, Fluff and Angst, Half of them don't know, Hongjoong isn't actually a party guy, I'm Sorry, Jeong Yunho is a good hyung, Jongho is mentioned - Freeform, M/M, Mingi is barely in it, My First Work in This Fandom, Panic Attacks, Park Seonghwa is a good hyung, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, San is barely in it, Yeosang is an anxious bean, no beta we die like men, oof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 00:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21235196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChirpB/pseuds/ChirpB
Summary: Kang Yeosang has social anxiety. His new roommate this year doesn't know yet.Kim Hongjoong invites them all to a "get-together".They all thought it would be fine, but it wasn't fine.





	It Wasn't Fine

**Author's Note:**

> So, first fic in this fandom. 
> 
> I've been wanting to write one for a while, and this one popped into my head after I went to a frat party. The description of the party in this is only a little bit like the one I went to.
> 
> Anyways, love me some angst.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Also, let me know if you'd want a sequel to this. I have some ideas, but we'll have to see how this goes first.

It was too loud.

Everything was too loud.

The room was too warm with too many people dancing around.

He tried his best to take deep breaths and tell himself that he was fine, but his lungs were so constricted that the wouldn’t let any air in. 

He sank to a crouching position when his head started spinning.

‘Escape’ was the only thing on his mind. He needed to get out, get fresh air, preferably away from people.

He quickly stood up, which didn’t help the headache that was beginning to form, and ran. He didn’t really know where he was running, he just hoped it was out.

His vision was blurring, from tears or lack of oxygen, he didn’t know, maybe both. He wiped his eyes and felt something wet on his hands. So it was at least crying.

After clearing his vision a little, he kept on pushing through the sea of people that were all around him. It was like they could hear him if he asked them to move, the music was too loud, so he just shoved past people.

Once he finally got to a less crowded area of the house, a hallway, he tried to find an open room that e could sit in and calm down. It wasn’t the outside, but it was the best he could do in this moment. 

The only problem was that most of the doors were locked, he didn’t know why, but he was too busy to make a guess.

After another two doors, he finally found one that was open: the bathroom. Perfect.

He ran in, turned around and closed the door right behind him.

He leaned against the wall, his breaths coming in short spurts. 

His head was pounding.

He slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. 

He really didn’t want to be here, but his friends were here. This was supposed to be a small little get together, but it turned out to be a really big college party that definitely wasn’t his thing.

His breathing didn’t slow down and his vision was beginning to swim and look blurry, and it wasn’t from tears this time. 

Pretty soon he just stopped breathing altogether. His body was shivering and he couldn’t stop it.

‘Oh...that’s what’s happening,’ he thought, finally putting together that he was having another episode. His friends were going to kill him.

He gave up on trying to breath and let blackness take over.

“Yeosang?!”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

** _A couple hours earlier_ **

“Hyung! Guess what!”

Yeosang let out a sigh, sat up from his spot on a couch, and looked up from his phone to see Wooyoung staring at him with a smile. 

“What? And don’t make me guess, because I won’t,” He said blinking at Wooyoung lazily.

“There’s a party tonight. Just a couple people. We should go, I think it’ll be fun,” Wooyoung explained.

Yeosang hadn’t known Wooyoung for too long, but they’ve known each other for long enough to know what kinds of things the other does or doesn’t like. That, though, that was the one thing that Wooyoung hadn’t figured out and Yeosang hadn’t told him about. 

Yeosang had anxiety. More specifically social anxiety. Sure, a couple of his other friends knew, but Wooyoung, the guy didn’t know anything about that.

Yeosang swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat, “How many people will be there?”

“I don’t think there will be too many. It’s just supposed to be a small get together. Don’t worry about it so much.”

_ ‘Speak for yourself, Wooyoung,’  _ Yeosang thought to himself. 

“I was going to see if your friends wanted to go too. My friend doesn’t have a ton of people to invite himself, so he wanted me to invite some people,” Wooyoung said, seemingly trying to convince Yeosang to at least ask his friends.

Yeosang didn’t really think his friends were really party people.

Well, that wasn’t true. It was only really Jongho that wasn’t. Seonghwa was to an extent. Yunho though, he was crazy. That’s why he became friends with Wooyoung so quickly. Wooyoung even introduced him to his friends San and Mingi. Instant connection right there. 

Especially between Yuho and Mingi. 

Yeosang thought about what that would be like. He didn’t think he would ever find out.

“You can ask them if you’d like, but I don’t really think I’d want to go,” Yeosang responded.

“Well, it’s probably mostly just going to be your friends, so no harm in going, right?” Wooyoung pointed out.

Yeosang guessed that the younger had a point, but still, he wasn’t too sure about how he felt about it. Social things weren’t his thing. Maybe he could stomach one extra person he doesn’t know if his friends are there with him. 

“I’ll only go if you can get the others to go,” Yeosang made a deal with Wooyoung.

Wooyoung started freaking out in excitement, “Yas!!! Thanks hyung. I think it’s gonna be really fun.”

Yeosang nodded at him with a smile as Wooyoung bolted away. 

What was he getting himself into?

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

** _Thirty minutes before arrival at the party_ **

Yeosang stepped out of his room and waited for Wooyoung to look at him.

“I can’t believe you’re making me wear this,” Yeosang semi-complained as he stood in front of Wooyoung with his Wooyoung-chosen style(™).

Wooyoung made him wear a charcoal gray button up shirt and some black ripped skinny jeans with a black belt. It was simple, but it wasn’t Yeosang’s style.

Wooyoung looked at him and smiled, clapping in excitement. Did he just squeal?

“Why do I have to wear this if it’s just a really small get together?” Yeosang asked, crossing his arms.

“I want you to look good. Maybe you’ll meet someone you, you know, click with,” Wooyoung said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. 

Yeosang didn’t really feel like arguing with his roommate, so he just accepted it. He also accepted Wooyoung putting some product in his hair, styling it to match his outfit. He also forced Yeosang to wear some eyeliner, and a tiny bit of eyeshadow.

“Admit it, you like this look,” Wooyoung said matter-of-factly.

Yeosang tried not to smile, but he looked in the mirror and honestly thought that Wooyoung did a pretty good job. He looked alright for once.

“Alright, I admit it, you’re good at this kind of thing,” Yeosang said, happily defeated.

“Good! Let’s go downstairs and wait for the others to get here. Seonghwa actually said that he knows the guy throwing the party,” Wooyoung said as he headed out the door, Yeosang trailing behind him.

“Really? I didn’t think hyung would know a ton of other people,” Yeosang said, a little surprised.

“I think they’re in the same department, not major, but they see each other enough to know each other. His name’s Hongjoong, and he’s a pretty cool guy.”

“Ah, neat.”

The two boys made it down to the lobby and waited for the other boys to show up. Jongho was sadly going to go home for the weekend, so he wasn’t coming with them, but Seonghwa, Yunho, San, and Mingi were all coming. Yunho said he would drive his car, which would barely fit six people if they squished.

Suddenly, Wooyoung’s phone dinged and he perked up, “They’re here! Let’s go!” He grabbed Yeosang’s arm and pulled him outside towards Yunho’s car.

“Get in losers! We’re partying!” San said after opening the door to let the two in.

Yeosang looked at Wooyoung and motioned for him to get in first. There was no way that he was squishing in between two people. Wooyoung didn’t complain and got right in, squishing Mingi and San. Yeosang crawled into the car and looked at the front seats to see Yunho driving and Seonghwa in the passenger seat. Eldest privileges.

“Hi hyungs,” Yeosang said quietly.

Yunho said a loud hello and Seonghwa turned and smiled at Yeosang. He almost looked like he was concerned.

“You okay, hyung?” Yeosang asked quietly so he didn’t alert the whole car.

Seonghwa studied Yeosang’s eyes for another couple seconds before smiling and nodding, “Yeah, I’m good. I’ll introduce you guys to Hongjoong when we get there.”

The car ride was really chill, aside from the music being loud and the other three in the backseat basically yelling at the top of their lungs.

As they turned a final time down the street where the party was suppose to be, Yeosang’s stomach did a flip. There were a bunch of cars parked outside the house they were supposed to go to. People were out on the front lawn already dancing.

Yeosang saw Seonghwa shoot him a concerned look. He looked into the rear-view mirror and saw Yunho looking at him with concern in his eyes.

“O-oh, that wasn’t what I was expecting, I swear,” Wooyoung said nervously.

Yeosang didn’t want to ruin all of the other boys’ fun, he’d already done that enough in his life. He decided to accommodate himself to them for a change.

“That’s fine. Let’s go then,” Yeosang said as Yunho stopped the car. He was the first one to hop out of the car and he immediately regretted it. The music was blaring from the inside of the house.

“You sure, Yeosang?” Yunho asked, hoping out of the car. 

Yeosang turned around with a smile he hoped didn’t look pained, “Yeah! Let’s go in!”

He waited for the other boys to get out of the car and let Seonghwa lead them all inside so they could meet thing Hongjoong guy. They had to push past a couple people so they could get into the house.

The house was pretty big, Yeosang wondered how Hongjoong could afford something like it. It didn’t look anything like a fraternity house, so maybe it was actually his parents house.

The group had to start pushing through the giant crowd of people in the living room. The sheer number of people made Yeosang feel claustrophobic and nauseous. He took a couple deep breaths, hoping there would be more fresh air, but there was only the smell of people juuling.

He latched his hand onto Seonghwa’s loose sleeve and continued following him. Seonghwa looked back for a second to make sure Yeosang wasn’t dying.

After pushing through so many people, they finally made it into the kitchen where there weren’t as many people, but still plenty to make Yeosang’s stomach flip. 

“Hey, Seonghwa, what’s up?” All of the boys, which ended up being only Seonghwa, Yeosang, and Yunho, turned to see a shorter guy walking towards them. 

Yeosang assumed the others went to party and dance. Oh well.

“Hongjoong, I thought the party was gonna be small, I’m surprised,” Seonghwa said. 

Oh, so this wan Hongjoong. He looked like a nice guy. He did have bright red hair, but Yeosang decided it didn’t make him look threatening or anything.

  
“Yeah, I invited one of my other friends, and then suddenly this many people showed up and threw a party themselves. Pretty soon more random people showed up. Sorry I didn’t warn you. I was going to text either you or Wooyoung, but someone took my phone and started playing it’s music on the speakers that aren’t even mine, so I have no idea where that went,” Hongjoong explained in almost one breath. 

One word came to Yeosang’s mind: Rapper. This guy was definitely a rapper. He smirked at the thought.

“Ah, don’t worry about it, we were just caught off-guard,” Seonghwa explained.

“Okay, sorry again though,” Hongjoong said, then turned to Yunho and Yeosang, “Ah, are you guys Seonghwa’s friends?”

Yeosang just nodded while Yunho said, “Yeah! I’m Yunho. We did have more people, like Wooyoung, but they disappeared somewhere.”

Hongjoong laughed at that, “Makes sense. Sounds like Wooyoung. What’s your name?” He asked Yeosang.

“O-oh, I’m Yeosang,” he answered in a quiet voice, but still loud enough for Hongjoong to hear. Hongjoong had been able to distract Yeosang for a little bit, which was nice, but pretty soon the situation came flooding back to Yeosang. His heart was racing a little more than normal and he was starting to get a headache.

Hongjoong’s smile turned into a look of concern, “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

Yeosang nodded, “I’m good, there are just a lot of people.” He weakly smiled after the statement to make everything seem okay.

Seonghwa grabbed Yeosang’s hand, “Hey, we can leave if you’re not okay.”

Yeosang’s eyes widened in panic, “What? No! I want you guys to have fun, I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

All three of the boys gave a concerned look, then Seonghwa spoke again, “You feel something happening, you immediately tell me, or Yunho, okay?” His eyes bore holes into Yeosang’s.

“Yeah, I know. I’ll let you know, don’t worry.”

After a couple seconds of tense silence, the two older boys continued conversation. Yunho looked antsy.

“Go dance, hyung. It’s your thing, go have fun,” Yeosang tried to sound encouraging. After Yunho looked worriedly at Yeosang, he finally smiled and bolted into the living room where all the music was happening. Yeosang smiled after him.

How did he end up friends with such social people? The world will never know.

“Yeosang, Hongjoong wants to show me something in the living room, wanna come with?” Seonghwa asked him.

Yeosang worried for a second. The living room was where all the people were, but that was also where his friends would be.

“Y-yeah, I’m coming.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

** _Fifteen minutes later_ **

There were definitely too many people in the living room to be safe. 

Yeosang got separated from Seonghwa and Hongjoong for one second and he couldn’t find them after that. He looked around desperately for his friends, but he could only see people he didn’t know. 

Not to mention they were all drunk college kids. Someone’s hand brushed against Yeosang’s butt. He didn’t know if it was an accident or not, but still...

His heart rate spiked.

It was too loud.

Everything was too loud.

The room was too warm with too many people dancing around.

He tried his best to take deep breaths and tell himself that he was fine, but his lungs were so constricted that the wouldn’t let any air in. 

He sank to a crouching position when his head started spinning.

‘Escape’ was the only thing on his mind. He needed to get out, get fresh air, preferably away from people.

He quickly stood up, which didn’t help the headache that was beginning to form, and ran. He didn’t really know where he was running, he just hoped it was out.

His vision was blurring, from tears or lack of oxygen, he didn’t know, maybe both. He wiped his eyes and felt something wet on his hands. So it was at least crying.

After clearing his vision a little, he kept on pushing through the sea of people that were all around him. It was like they could hear him if he asked them to move, the music was too loud, so he just shoved past people.

Once he finally got to a less crowded area of the house, a hallway, he tried to find an open room that he could sit in and calm down. It wasn’t the outside, but it was the best he could do in this moment. 

The only problem was that most of the doors were locked, he didn’t know why, but he was too busy to make a guess.

After another two doors, he finally found one that was open: the bathroom. Perfect.

He ran in, turned around and closed the door right behind him.

He leaned against the wall, his breaths coming in short spurts. 

His head was pounding.

He slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. 

He really didn’t want to be here, but his friends were here. This was supposed to be a small little get together, but it turned out to be a really big college party that definitely wasn’t his thing.

His breathing didn’t slow down and his vision was beginning to swim and look blurry, and it wasn’t from tears this time. 

Pretty soon he just stopped breathing altogether. His body was shivering and he couldn’t stop it.

‘Oh...that’s what’s happening,’ he thought, finally putting together that he was having another episode. His friends were going to kill him.

He gave up on trying to breath and let blackness take over.

“Yeosang?!”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yunho hyung!”

Yunho whipped his head around to the high-pitched call of his name. He was smiling, but when he saw the look of worry on Wooyoung’s face, he knew something was wrong. He bolted past people, maybe knocking some over, but he couldn’t care at that moment. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“I don’t know, I just saw Yeosang an-”

“What happened to Yeosang?!” Yunho cut him off.

“He was passed out in the bathroom, I don’t know why!” Wooyoung yelled at him in panic.

Yunho took a couple deep breaths, “Okay, okay, go and get Seonghwa and the others and meet me at the car.”

“San is with him still,” Wooyoung said as he started speeding away. Yunho gave him a nod and ran towards the bathroom.

He opened the door and saw San on the ground with an unconscious Yeosang in his arms. San’s eyes were a little red and puffy. Had he cried? He also noticed that Yeosang had dark smudges from makeup under his eyes.

“I got him. Help get him onto my back,” Yunho instructed.

San nodded and lifted Yeosang as much as he could. He didn’t really weigh a ton, which was both good in this situation, but also just concerning in general.

Once they got Yeosang onto Yunho’s back, they both quickly walked out of the house, still having to push past people even though they obviously had someone passed out with them.

“San, my car keys are in my front right pocket. Grab them,” Yunho instructed.

San quickly grabbed them and unlocked the car, opening the door to the backseat.

“Does he need to go to the hospital?” San asked worriedly.

Yunho laid Yeosang down on the seat and pointed for San sit sit there and keep Yeosang in a comfortable position, “No, he just had a really bad panic attack, I’m pretty sure.”

San didn’t say anything and only nodded.

Yunho got into the driver’s seat and started the car, getting the heaters going.

Wooyoung finally got out of the house with Seonghwa, Mingi, and even Hongjoong trailing behind him.

“We gotta get him home,” Seonghwa said to everyone.

“Seonghwa, I’m really sorry. Next time, you plan a small get-together of just us. I’d like to meet him, but I’m sorry this was too much for him,” Hongjoong said, his head hung low with a look of worry in his eyes.

Seonghwa gave him a sympathetic smile and nodded. With that, Hongjoong headed back inside, starting to kick people out.

“You two, hop in the car and get Yeosang to lay across you,” Seonghwa instructed Wooyoung and Mingi.

“Okay,” Wooyoung said, hopping into the car so he’d be in the middle, Mingi following behind.

Seonghwa got into the passenger seat and Yunho sped off.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After they made it back to Wooyoung and Yeosang’s dorm, the boys helped get Yeosang onto Yunho’s back. They all made their way to the boys’ room.

“I-I didn’t know,” Wooyoung whispered under his breath.

“Don’t blame yourself for anything. This has happened before and has been in worse situations, so don’t worry,” Yunho told him.

“I just, I really did think that the party would be small.”

“So did Hongjoong, don’t worry, it’s not your fault,” Seonghwa reassured.

Wooyoung nodded with a sniffle. 

They finally made it down to the boys’ room and Wooyoung unlocked the door. Yunho went immediately to Yeosang’s bed and laid him down with the help of Mingi.

They all stood around for a second before Wooyoung spoke up, “It’s been a long night. You guys can sleep here for tonight if you want to watch him.”

Seonghwa and Yunho gave each other questioning glances.

“San and Mingi can sleep with me. We’ve done it before. I think you guys would be able to fit on Yeosang’s bed too,” Wooyoung added.

“Okay,” Seonghwa and Yunho said at the same time. 

The boys all got themselves situated and Wooyoung turned the light off after taking one last look at his roommate.

He got into bed and was immediately snuggled by San and Mingi threw his long limbs right over them both. He felt a little more at rest then he did earlier, and he eventually fell asleep.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeosang woke up to tangled limbs and hair in his mouth.

He immediately spit it out and looked around with a really confused expression.

He looked down to see who’s hair decided his mouth was it’s home and saw Seonghwa.

Wait.

“Hyung?” Yeosang asked with a scratchy voice. That didn’t feel the best, but he had more important priorities.

Seonghwa stirred and then tensed under Yeosang. He looked up really quickly and met Yeosang’s eyes.

“You’re okay,” Seonghwa whispered.

Yeosang nodded, “I’m sorry I scared you last night. I don’t know what happened. We just g-got sep-separated and th-then it all became too much and I-I panicked.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, you’re okay now. We all got you,” Seonghwa comforted, stroking Yeosang’s head.

Yeosang took a couple deep breaths. He could breathe again. He felt relieved. He looked across the room to see Wooyoung’s bed covered in limbs. 

“Wooyoung asked us all to stay the night. San and Mingi are in his bed,” Seonghwa explained.

Yeosang nodded with a small smile on his face and then turned his head to see Yunho’s chest.

Seonghwa snickered, “Yeah, he’s here too, don’t worry.”

Yeosang smiled and met Seonghwa’s gaze, “It looks like it’s still really early in the morning. Let’s sleep more, okay? You guys did a lot for me last night, ou need the rest.”

Seonghwa smirked and nodded at Yeosang, “Sounds like a plan to me. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

After that was said, both boys tightened their grips on each other and drifted off to sleep.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you saw anything wrong.
> 
> Comments are appreciated, I love talking to y'all!
> 
> Have a good one, ya noddles!!!
> 
> My Twitter: [@Chirp_B](https://twitter.com/Chirp_B)
> 
> My ko-fi: [ChirpB](https://ko-fi.com/chirpb)


End file.
